He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize