I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
