He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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