My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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