never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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