just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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