Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
