im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
