my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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