If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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