what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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