So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
