Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
