so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
