Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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