he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
