Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
