I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
