Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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