i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
