Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize