I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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