Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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