Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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