dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
