so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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