dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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