I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
