He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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