Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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