So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize