Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
