And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
im six kinds of drunk right now
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
soo... how was my night?
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