I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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