glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
