we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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