windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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