East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
