Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
