Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
