I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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