found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
