masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
