They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
