If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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