i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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