she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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