Already got asked if we're dating
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
