Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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