Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
