she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
