Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
