We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
love makes seman taste better
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
