My friends, they love my intelligence
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i believe in u and ur pee
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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