I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
