i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
