she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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