we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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